I finally figured out my base MBTI personality. hahahaha.
In light of the couple things that has happened since the last time I wrote here, namely- dropping out of grad school, leaving Korea, deciding to take my lsats, not being sure if I wanted to take my lsats- this is quite the marked improvement in being honest to myself along the way of forming who I am in my head.
My foundation is an ESFJ. The huge realizations I made while reading this (and several hours of related sites) helped me understand a couple things that had been difficult to accept about myself, some main points being:
-Why I dropped out of Korean history/grad school/academics/SNU and the first thing out of my mouth when I informed Professor M of my decision was that "I need to help people". How much more mindless of an answer could I give him. I could feel my cheeks flare and I'm pretty sure the Stanford/Harvard educated man who taught at Harvard/SNU and wrote in Korean better than me, was taken aback too. I had secretly wondered to myself if I just wasn't able to handle the heat and what I would ever amount to if I dropped out of something I loved so much. ESFJ/Eugenia explanations to this? I thrive as a provider and I have a pretty black and white picture of the world. Endless theoretical discussions with no apparent application annoys me. As a people hater as I am, I'm a people-centered person. I have a couple theories on how the hater part came about...
-Why I was more concerned with just "doing it right" rather than results in my past leadership positions. Or why my brother is currently blocked on my phone for skipping our parents' anniversary slash dad's birthday weekend. I enjoy structure and value tradition.
-Why I broke up with my boyfriend in high school. Talk about excess baggage...
-Why what people say effect me so much. Why I'm superficial. Why I'm so interested in other people. People, people, people....
I think this explains for about 70-80% of my personality. I'm pretty sure the rest will have introvert qualities~ something has to explain why I came up as INTJ in all my past tests.
I'm glad that this supports everyone's full(er) confidence in my decision to go to law school. I've really only been maybe 60% committed to this decision and they're probably due to a mix of:
-I've rarely had to work for anything and/or everyting came easily to me. Law school is hard.
-I've never taken the time to cultivate a dream for my life. I just assumed somebody would come across my path and they would recognize how awesome I was and I would be whisked away to an awesome job. I suppose that sort of happened with me ending up at SNU... What.Is.My.Dream.
-My self-confidence is shot and I'm scared to invest my energies in another career. Law school is hard.
-Law school is a debt trap.
-I made this decision without the confidence of God's blessing. Though, I'm not sure if it's an excuse of wanting lightning from heaven so I can delay my decision of commitment.
How loving must God be to have not simply put up with me, but love me despite all of this. Love me despite how long it took me to accept my inherent strengths and weaknesses.
-I've rarely had to work for anything and/or everyting came easily to me. Law school is hard.
-I've never taken the time to cultivate a dream for my life. I just assumed somebody would come across my path and they would recognize how awesome I was and I would be whisked away to an awesome job. I suppose that sort of happened with me ending up at SNU... What.Is.My.Dream.
-My self-confidence is shot and I'm scared to invest my energies in another career. Law school is hard.
-Law school is a debt trap.
-I made this decision without the confidence of God's blessing. Though, I'm not sure if it's an excuse of wanting lightning from heaven so I can delay my decision of commitment.
How loving must God be to have not simply put up with me, but love me despite all of this. Love me despite how long it took me to accept my inherent strengths and weaknesses.
