Post-Grad Ruminations

I'm still racking my brain trying to figure out how to situate this blog into my life.

Sure, I'm moving to another country-at least tentatively- that certainly qualifies anyone to keep a blog. I want to keep my loved ones and the people I believe to care about me at a level above their pets involved in my life. But the last straw came when after reading countless "how to get into grad school", "how to survive in grad school", "what you didn't know about grad school", "how to know if you belong to in grad school" articles and being told I need to keep a blog- then meeting with my favorite professor and being told: "you have beautiful writing, but I wish you were more aggressive in pursuing your arguments and less careful about how correct your argument is".

Anddd that basically sealed it.

It's surreal how the lack of any fundamental effects an individual's life. It doesn't simply proceed to screw up whatever area the fundamental is necessary for, but it seeps into everything you do. It's just a matter of time as you hopefully increase your level of self-awareness. It hit me that the extra-caution I approach life with, something I've always suspected somewhere in the back of my head to be a sign of low self-confidence, was showing up in my writing. Possibly not as relevant to many, but distressing for someone who plans on doing nothing but analyzing others' writings and having other people analyze mine for the rest of her life.

Brings a whole new understanding to "I will give you life", no? When you realize there are certain fundamentals that is impossible in your human nature to overcome- it's the prime time for the Sprit to do His work. So as much as I churn in my stomach in envy for the natural genius abilities some of my peers possess that will lengthen their life span from the extra hours they sleep at night away from the library, it is in these moments of divine insight I am genuinely thankful for the weaknesses I possess that helps me kneel.

We still come roundabout to the question of where this blog belongs. I will limit the amount of quotes to post. Not that I still don't adore quotes and the writers who ingeniously pack so much insight into a few phrases- but because part of it was just a cop out to not materialize into words my feelings towards those quotes. More words=more room for critique=increased vulnerability, yknow? Same goes for pictures: it was a thousand words I thought someone else was better off writing.

Maybe this will just be a short-lived Korea travel blog that will last until the novelty of traveling wears off after realizing I'm in Korea for the long haul. Traveling's a convenient subject lodged in a convenient spot that straddles the public/private divide well. It's a vastly personal experience as you travel through public spaces, which allows you to be motivated to write about the experience while feeling comfortable that it is a subject that many will relate to.

So I still don't know what this blog will become, but that's okay. A professor told me historians are the worst at conclusions anyway.